
Game Details
- Publisher: Bossa Studios
- Developer: Bossa Studios
- ESRB Rating: “T” for Teen
- Genre: Simulation
- Pros: Kinda funny, sort of; co-op
- Cons: Terrible awful putrid controls; novelty wears off very quickly
- MSRP: $13
In Surgeon Simulator you play as the arm of a surgeon in
charge of half-assed surgeries. You move your arm around with one stick and can
raise it up and down and rotate it with the other. Different buttons allow you
to close the different fingers and grasp things. The concept and controls are
deceptively simple, but actually doing anything with any semblance of precision
is almost impossible. The controls are just so awkward and terrible and
unwieldy and frustrating and bad you’ll want to throw the controller across the
room. Thankfully, you don’t actually have to be very good at doing actual
surgery – a heart transplant only requires you to break apart and remove the
ribcage, rip out the heart, and drop a new one into the hole – which is a good
thing because the controls are goddamn terrible.
I get it that the whole point is that it plays bad on
purpose and it’s supposed to be funny to see blood splatter all over as you
perform surgery in all the wrong ways, but it sucks and isn’t fun to play. The
controls are far too awkward and difficult and terrible and frustrating to be
fun and the momentary thrill of “Hurr hurr, I broke the ribs! Wow, look at all
the blood splatter!” wears off almost immediately. Perhaps the game controlled
better with a mouse and keyboard than it does with a controller, but on the PS4
controller Surgeon Simulator is just insipid garbage.
The one good thing about Surgeon Simulator is in reveling in
just how ridiculous it can be. Digging out eyeballs with a plastic spoon and
wildly breaking ribs with a hammer is so over the top you can’t help but laugh
at the absurdity. Playing co-op where each person controls a separate arm can
also be absolutely hilarious. For all of about 10-minutes. Then the bad
controls start to frustrate you and it stops being funny anymore. I’m not
saying you can’t put in the effort to learn how to use the awkward controls and
actually get really proficient at the game. You totally can. I’m saying the brief and momentary joys the experience might bring simply aren’t worth the effort.
You’re probably saying to yourself “Eric only hates the game
because he’s bad at it, herp derp,’ and you’re totally correct. I am bad at it.
I can’t figure it out. I’ve struggled with it for hours across several
sessions. It sucks. I hate it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I've played thousands of games in my career, good bad and in-between, and for me to hate Surgeon Simulator this much should speak volumes.
Like I mentioned above, I’m not opposed to the idea of intentionally bad games with awkward controls. Human Fall Flat and Manual Samuel are recent such games that are actually fantastic and there are lots of others that are solid as well. Surgeon Simulator just plain isn’t good. Maybe if I had played it earlier and didn’t have newer and better things to compare it to I’d think of it more fondly, but playing Surgeon Simulator for the first time in 2017 is just an awful experience. I bought it at an extreme discount bundled with I Am Bread (another Bossa Studios POS) for $3 during a PSN sale and I still feel like I kind of got ripped off. Skip it and play something better.