Monday, December 30, 2019

Eric Vs. 365 - Day 183 - The Transformers (JP PS2 Exclusive)

Transformers Generation 1 kind of sucks. Sorry that I have to say it, but it's true. The cartoon is 80% filler episodes just to sell new toys and most of the toys themselves are blocky garbage. The characters are absolutely iconic and awesome, no arguments there, but the TV show and toys were mostly trash. Today's game is another piece of G1 trash - a Japanese exclusive PS2 game that looks freaking amazing but plays like dog crap. Aw shee, here we go again. Read on for more and to watch gameplay.

Hi, I'm Eric. A 36-year old man who grew up in the 80's and loved Transformers. I got really, really into Transformers again as an adult in 2006 or so and kind of consumed every bit of Transformers I could. I watched a lot of series and bought a whole lot of toys - mostly Optimus Prime figures - and it was a lot of fun. What I found that surprised me is that G1 is not the end-all, be-all that certain fans want to pretend it is. It was a thoroughly mediocre TV show and generally bad toys that has been propped up for the last 35-years by greasy man-children fondly remembering things clouded by rose-tinted nostalgia.  

That was harsh. What I really mean is that pretending that G1 is the only thing that has ever existed and has ever been good and anyone that likes anything else is somehow doing it wrong isn't productive or healthy, but that's how a ton of Geewunners think. Hey. Old guys. You (we) don't own the Transformers fandom. There are more kids out there that love the freaking movies or Animated or Cybertron or new toy lines that don't give a crap about G1 than there are of us, so it's time to let it go. 

Anyway, today's game is The Transformers for PS2. It was a Japanese exclusive - despite having English voices and optional English menu text - released in 2003. It is speculated that, because it was pretty much 100% a Takara operation and Hasbro didn't have any input into it, Hasbro didn't want to release it in the US. Plus it got terrible reviews from Japanese publications, which is another likely reason why Hasbro didn't want to bother with it. They were probably correct in doing so.

The game looks freaking goddamned amazing like a Geewunner's wet dream, but it plays like absolute crap. It's a terrible beat-em-up with awkward controls, bad game feel, and it's ridiculously repetitive. It is just no fun to actually play, but it is pretty fun to watch. Just imagine how crazy an actual good game with these models would be. Aww yeah.