Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Eric Vs. 365 - Day 332 - Halo 5

I've been resisting it for years as an Xbox fan - That creeping dread that maybe Halo actually does suck now. If Halo sucks, then what do we really have left besides Forza? Don't say Gears, because Gears is freaking boring. Halo can't suck. That means the Sony Ponies win, and we can't have that. Those were my thoughts for the last 5+ years. You know what, though? Halo 5 does actually kinda suck. I never thought I'd say it. Read more and watch gameplay here.

Halo 5 sucks because the Prometheans suck. The Forerunners and Prometheans were so much more interesting in the Halo 1,2,3 days when they were just a mystery and we didn't really know what they were like. Then Halo 4 and 5 happened and suddenly the Prometheans were back and, oops, they actually totally suck. Strangely enough, I don't mind them in Halo 4 as much, but in Halo 5 the Prometheans have shitty weapons, aren't fun to fight, and fighting that same "boss" a dozen times freaking blows. 

Everything else in Halo 5 is probably the best its ever been. It looks great and the core gameplay is as solid as ever. I didn't even mind swapping between Osiris and Blue Team. The plot was even interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing what the heck happens next. But every time you fight the Prometheans instead of the Covenant the game just takes a huge shit. I hate it. 

If Halo: Infinity pulled a Poochie and is all like "Then, suddenly, the Prometheans went back to their home planet never to be seen again" at the start I'd be super happy. Give me Covenant and Flood all goddamn day. If I never see another glowy yellow whatever-the-fuck the Prometheans are in a Halo game again I'll die happy.

For the record, I don't even blame 343i for the Prometheans sucking. It isn't as if Bungie is especially better these days, and this seems like the direction Halo was headed whether the original folks or 343 were doing it. It was destined to end up like this. And it sucks.