Sunday, May 10, 2020

Eric Vs. 365 - Day 315 - Gears of War 3

I think I'm done with Gears of War. It's just so freaking boring now. And the visuals aren't impressive like they were back in the day so it just looks like every other dude bro shooter. I was never super into it anyway, but it does feel weird to say I genuinely dislike a tent pole Microsoft first-party series after covering the Xbox exclusively for 12-years. Today's game is Gears of War 3. Watch as I get super bored, super quickly! 

The reason why I played Gears 3 is because it was, I thought, my favorite Gears of War game. I loved it when it first came out. That was 75 years ago, though, and I've changed as a gamer. I'm no longer impressed by "AAA" visuals and shootybang games. I hate games with slow plodding pacing. I hate games that constantly make you "look" at stuff. I hate games that put you into battle arenas and you can only move on when all of the enemies are dead. Gears of War is a huge offender on all of thees things. It's not you Gears, it's me. I've moved on. But it's mostly you. Cause you secretly suck.

I tried to play Gears 5 and only got about an hour, maybe, into it because it was so boring. Not only did it do all of those sins I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but it also didn't feel as much like a Microsoft Game and started veering off into Sony territory. See, as disappointed as I am with Gears and most other "AAA" games, I freaking hate Sony's cinematic slow paced sad dad bullshit that is all like "This is a serious grown up mature story that you have to take seriously" while simultaneously giving you glowing collectible crap all over and extensive crafting and skill trees and shit. Gears of War sucks, but GOD of War really, really, really fucking sucks, and that is what Gears 5 was starting to feel like to me.

The Gears of War story went off the rails after the second game. They just kept introducing new enemies that all fight and act exactly like the Locust did. Ooh, they're glowy now. Who gives a shit? The worst thing about the story is that suddenly freaking politics where a huge part of it. I'm sorry, but in your game about chainsawing ugly monsters in half I don't really care about the behind the scenes politics trying to screw everyone over. Didn't they learn anything from "Star Wars"? 

I'm just not interested or impressed by any of this anymore. Gears sucks.