Sunday, February 23, 2020

Eric Vs. 365 - Day 238 - Demolition Girl

Demolition Girl is the type of quirky nonsense I like. It's action. It's fanservice. It's B-movie schlock. It was a Simple 2000 PS2 game in Japan that got released in Europe - but not the USA, of course - and it's a hoot. I mean, it plays terribly and is ridiculously short, but it has a giant woman in a bikini! Read more and watch gameplay here.

Demolition Girl is the story of a model who gets attacked by an alien something-or-other while doing a photo shoot on a beach. Somehow, the girl grows into a giant kaiju-sized monster and terrorizes the surrounding towns. Well, not really. She's just a giant woman in a bikini who doesn't actually attack anything or do anything bad, but the JSDF swoops in with helicopters and weapons to try and stop her. 

Your first mission is to take her measurements - bust, hips, butt, face - because of REASONS. The second mission has you tranquilizing her with giant syringes. The third mission switches you from a helicopter to a fighter jet so you can protect the now sleeping giant woman from freaking aliens trying to kidnap her. What happens after that? Hell if I know! The controls are so bad I couldn't stand to play anymore. 

I can't stress this enough - this game plays absolutely terribly. The controls are putrid. The helicopter controls are serviceable and you get used to them, but the jet controls are straight up bad. It's nearly unplayable. There are only 6 missions in total, but I only saw the first 2 1/4.

The other thing that I have to say is that the game does look pretty good. The giant woman looks good. She's the main draw and the whole point anyone would play this terrible game, so at least they got that right.